Some Children’s Manners Are In A Vegetative State

(I’m out grabbing some lunch on my break at work. A girl of about 12 notices me in the aisle and starts staring at me. I have quite a striking appearance: bright orange dreadlocks down to my bum, lots of facial piercings, heavy makeup, and very visible tattoos on my head and neck. I’m also wearing a floor-length afghan coat.)

Girl: *taps me on the shoulder* “Err… You know you look really horrible, right?”

Me: “This is what you’ll look like if you don’t eat your veggies or do as you’re told in school.”

(She shot me a bug-eyed, worried look and sped off down the aisle. I tried looking for a parent to tell them what had just happened, and maybe to teach their child some manners, but I couldn’t see anyone. Rude children irritate me.)