Some Baby-Talk For The Soul

, , , , | Friendly | June 9, 2018

(I borrowed my friend’s camera for a project and now I’m returning it. He and his fiancée have a child together.)

Friend: “Oh, hey, [My Name]. What brings you here?”

Me: “Your camera?”

Friend: “Oh. Oh, yeah. Sorry.”

Me: “You look a little tired.”

Friend: “Whoever came up with the saying, ‘I slept like a baby,’ was an idiot.”

Me: “Trouble in paradise?”

Friend: “She’s my little soul-sucker, and since [Fiancée] is getting her cast removed, I’m alone. Why the hell is he crying now?”

Me: “Did you feed him?”

Friend: “Yes.”

Me: “Burp him?”

Friend: “Yes, and he puked on my back.”

Me: “Did you change his diaper?”

Friend: “No.”

Me: “Want me to help?”

Friend: “Please!”

(I end up changing the baby while he has his morning coffee. It is afternoon.)

Me: “Done.”

Friend: “You’re an angel.”

Me: “An angel with four younger siblings.”

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