Sodium So Dum

| Learning | April 30, 2015

(It’s the last few minutes of chemistry lesson. I have a classmate who’s a real health nut and believes that every chemical-sounding ingredient in food is dangerous. I overhear her talking to another girl.)

Classmate: “Hey, you know there’s sodium chloride in your chips?”

(She goes on some kind of rampage about how one shouldn’t turn a blind eye to dangerous chemicals in food. I intervene.)

Me: “Hey, [Classmate], do you actually know the effects of sodium chloride?”

(She goes quiet.)

Me: “Sodium is an alkali metal that reacts to moisture very quickly. Chlorine is the stuff in swimming pools that kills bacteria. Sodium chloride can seriously dry out your body, it’s lethal doses is about five grams per kilogram of body weight and if you dissolve it in water and drink it, you’ll vomit violently and probably get stomach cramps!”

(By now, she has a smug look on her face.)

Classmate: *to the girl with the chips* “See, I told you it’s dangerous!”

Me: “And, you know what’s the best part?”

Classmate: “Huh?”

Me: “Sodium chloride is table salt. Nothing more. Just f****** salt.”

(She never bothered anyone again while I was around. Plus, my chemistry teacher overheard me and gave me a high five.)

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