Sodium And So Dum

Customer: “I’d like a half-pound of the [Cheap Brand] low-sodium ham, please!”

Me: “I’m sorry. We don’t have [Cheap Brand] low-sodium ham. We do have the [Premium Brand] low-sodium ham, though.”

Customer: “No, you do have the [Cheap Brand] kind. It’s right there.”

(She points to the Cheap Brand boiled ham, which is the lowest quality meat we sell, and is loaded with salt and fat.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid that ham isn’t low-sodium. Actually, that’s the highest-sodium ham we have.”

Customer: “WHAT?! I’ve been eating that ham for three months because I thought it was healthy! My doctor said my blood pressure was dangerously high!”

Me: “Um… that’s not good. Did one of the employees here tell you that ham was low-sodium?”

Customer: “No! I just assumed it was!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you probably should have asked someone here about that.”

Customer: “SHUT UP! IF I HAVE A HEART ATTACK IT’S YOUR FAULT!”