“Soap” Is Code For “Quickie” And “Sales Tax” Means “Snuggles”

We get a lot of contractors in our hotel — construction guys, utility workers, and all that. This particular construction company has had a handful of guys staying at our hotel for four days a week, every week, for the past year. Obviously, when you see someone that much, you get to know them and are friendly with them. Construction workers are pretty laid-back and don’t need a whole lot. We talk and joke around for a few minutes when they come back from work. Just normal stuff, y’know?

This guy comes to the desk with a bag of laundry and some cash. He asks for quarters and then grabs a box of laundry detergent to buy. He’s on the phone with his girlfriend, but he never lets it interfere with his interactions with the staff. As I’m ringing him up…

Me: “How was work today?”

He answers and then jokes about the sales tax on the soap.

Me: *Jokingly* “I’ll drop the sales tax if you promise to pay my bail when I’m in prison for federal crimes because I didn’t charge tax.”

We laugh, and he takes the soap and turns to pick up his laundry bag. But he pauses, phone still to his ear, and turns toward me.

Guy: “How old are you?”

Uh…

Me: “I’m [age].”

I’m probably about ten years younger than him.

He goes back to his phone call.

Guy: “She’s [age]. I don’t know what you’re so worried about.”

Apparently, she doesn’t like that very much, because as he’s waiting for the elevator, I hear him say:

Guy: “What do you expect me to do? Go up to the desk and say, ‘Give me my quarters, b****!’?”

Imagine being jealous of the front desk lady because she’s selling a box of laundry detergent to your boyfriend. Girl, I have negative interest in your man.