So You’re Looking For Someone To Blame

We have a bit of a running joke in the office that whenever something completely bizarre goes wrong, it is “my” fault. It started as I seem to be the unlucky one with IT and always find issues that shouldn’t even be possible. It is all said in good humour, and no one means it, so I don’t mind at all.

A new woman starts in the office. She seems to really struggle with some of the basic tasks, which is not helped by her attitude and unwillingness to learn or be taught. She keeps missing deadlines, and I think we were all just waiting to see when the owner will get rid of her. But he is a kind guy with lots of patience.  

He calls a big meeting to “catch up and see if anyone is having any issues.” We arrive and he goes round us individually, seeing how we are and what issues we are having.

One by one, we respond that we are fine and having no problems finishing our work, until it gets to the new woman.

New Woman: “I’ve not been able to do my reports on time again.”

Owner: “And why is that?”

New Woman: “Well, frankly, since [My Name] broke the system last week, it hasn’t been the same.”

Owner: “I didn’t hear about this. [My Name], what is this about?”

I shrug my shoulders. I look around the room and no one else seems to know.

New Woman: “I know I’m new here, and I don’t mean to throw people under the bus, but I can’t do my work without the tools needed.”

Me: “Err… I don’t know what she is on about.”

New Woman: “Come on, I heard you talk about it to [Coworker]! I’m a hard working woman, and I try my best here, but if [My Name] is going to constantly screw around with the things I need—”

Coworker: “We were joking! There was never an issue.”

New Woman: *Getting more flustered* “Look, all I know is that I can’t run it properly since there was an issue. It’s not my fault.”

Owner: “Okay, right. [My Name], can you please take a look at the software? [Coworker] can you stay behind? Everyone else, back to work.”

I ran the report as I had done a thousand times before without issue. I waited until the owner and my coworker were finished before dropping it at the owner’s desk. Of course, there was no issue whatsoever with the software and it was just the new woman being a bit useless.

The owner brought her into his office and “suggested” that this wasn’t the job for her. She “quit” and we never saw her again.