So, When A Sentient Consenting Lifeform And A Consenting Sentient Lifeform…

(This is 2008. In year 11, once again, we’re doing a section about relationships and safe sex. I have a fairly outspoken male classmate who is actually really easy to get on with and whom most the teachers like.)

Teacher: “So, when a husband and wife–“

Classmate: “Why they gotta be husband and wife?”

Teacher: “Good point. When a man and a woman–“

Classmate: “Why they gotta be a man and a woman?”

Teacher: “Er… When a male and a female–“

Classmate: “Why they gotta be a male and a female?”

Teacher: “What do you want from me?”

Classmate: “Why can’t it be ‘a man and a man’ or ‘a woman and a woman’ or… ‘a genderless and a genderless.’ Let’s get a bit of inclusivity in here!”

Teacher: “Last year, I had parents complain due to inclusivity.”

Classmate: “Well, that’s stupid.”

Teacher: “I know… So, when a person and a person–“

Classmate: “Why they gotta be people?”

Teacher: “You are not five!”