So That’s Where It Went Wrong…

, , , , , | Right | June 28, 2019

(This is right after the 2016 US elections. An elderly man comes into the store. He’s got that urgent look on his face people usually reserve for when they’re trying to overnight tax paperwork to their accountants.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Elderly Man: “I need to send a telegram.”

Me: “Do you mean a fax?”

Elderly Man: “No.”

Me: “An email?”

Elderly Man: “No.”

Me: “Are you trying to send money?”

Elderly Man: “No. I want you to get on the wire and send this message!” *holds up a legal pad with handwriting on it*

Me: “Sorry, sir. They don’t really… do that anymore. If you have an address, I can send it for you.”

Elderly Man: “But how do I make sure only the recipient gets it?”

Me: “I can send it Certified Mail with a Restricted Delivery. You just need the address.”

Elderly Man: “Okay.” *goes out to his car*

(He’s back about an hour later with an envelope in hand.)

Elderly Man: “I need to send this that way you were talking about so only this man gets it.”

(I took the envelope from him. It was addressed to Donald Trump, Fox News, Tampa, Florida. I then had to explain to him how addresses work. He didn’t seem to understand, but he let me know that he had a great idea that was going to solve a major social issue and he needed to send this message. Sorry, everyone. I’m apparently directly responsible for the lack of a resolution to the current [social issue] crisis.)

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