So Much For That Perfect Ten

Years ago, I used to work at a pizza restaurant making minimum wage. It was time for my first review a year after working there. Lo and behold, I got a PERFECT SCORE in their points-based review system. My raise was to be twenty-five cents an hour, the top raise they would give. Even though it was a minimum-wage job, I still prided myself on being a hard and valuable worker. My manager was a good guy and recognized how valuable I was to him and the restaurant. Then, this conversation happened.

Manager: “Looks like you’re getting the twenty-five-cent raise. However, corporate policy says that if we do your review before it’s time to, you only get 20% of that raise.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Manager: “Yeah. That means you are getting a five-cent raise.”

Me: “Oh. Why didn’t we just wait, then?”

My manager gave me some answer that I don’t really remember. What I believe happened was that our overbearing, bossy, and all-around horrible human being of a district manager — he threw a pizza against the wall when he didn’t like how it looked — pressured my manager into doing that so the company would save money on me. I could tell that my manager didn’t have the spine to try to stand up to him. 

I went home that night and spoke to my wife.

Me: “I got a raise.”

Wife: *Sarcastically* “What was it? Ten cents?”

Me: “No. Five.”