So Much For Spit & Run

(In our store, all cash registers have a button that’ll ring a bell in our lunchroom and back room if a cashier is in danger. I hear the bell ring, and run out to find my boss, who has also run out to check on the cashier.)

Boss: “What happened?”

Cashier: “A customer threatened to beat me over short change, even though I gave him the correct change. He just left a second ago!”

(My boss and I walk out of the store and quickly spot the customer in question. He’s not hard to miss, as he’s now cursing at his wife.)

Me: “Did you threaten my coworker?”

Customer: “Yeah. So?!”

Boss: “I’m gonna have to ask you to come back in with us so we can sort this out.”

Customer: “F*** you!”

(The customer runs across the road, so my boss and I run after him as quickly as possible. We finally catch up with him on the park lawn on the other side of the road.)

Boss: “[My name], grab his bags.”

(Before I can react, my boss has tackled him from behind using an American football tackle and hammerlocked him before picking him up from the ground.)

Customer: “When we get to the back room, I’m gonna punch your lights out!”

Boss: “You’re welcome to try.”

Customer: *shuts up*

(We call the cops, and after a few minutes they get here. We explain everything as his wife pleads with the cops.)

Cop: “We’re gonna let you off with a 300 kroner ticket if you apologize to every—”

Customer: *spits on cop* “Screw you!”

Cop: “…and now, you’re going to jail!”