So Much For Clearing Her Name

(One day my mother gets a call from the vice principal.)

Vice Principal: “Mrs. [name], I’m calling to inform you that your daughter has been caught giving threatening notes to other students. You need to come down here immediately. We do not tolerate this kind of behavior.”

Mother: “My daughter? She would never do something like that.”

Vice Principal: “I have the note right here.”

Mother: “You are sure my daughter wrote it? My daughter [my name]?”

Vice Principal: “Yes. It was definitely [my name]. This is what she wrote.”

(He reads the note and it is filled with profanity and graphic descriptions of violence directed at another student.)

Mother: “No, this HAS to be a mistake. Is she with you? Have you pulled her out of class?”

Vice Principal: “I am going to right now. But, Mrs. [name], I need you to come down here right now so we can discuss displinary measures.”

Mother: “I’m on my way.”

(My mother walks into the school and the vice principal runs towards her, out of breath.)

Vice Principal: “Mrs. [name]! I tried to catch you before you left the house. I apologize, but we had the wrong girl.”

Mother: “I knew it wasn’t [my name]!”

Vice Principal: *sheepishly* “Well, in my defense, it was a girl named [my name].”

(Turns out there was another girl in my grade with the exact same name. All year long I would get called to the vice principal’s office, pop my head in and wave. He would sigh and say, “wrong one.” To this day I wonder whatever happened to that girl.)