So Help You God

(We’re working quietly in class and I decide to be humorous to my classmate, whom I do not know very well.)

Me: “Wanna hear a joke?”

Classmate: “Sure.”

(I launch into my favourite joke.)

Me: “So, an engineer dies and goes to Hell. But when he gets there, he notices that stuff like the AC and conveyor belts are broken, so he starts fixing them. Eventually he fixes everything in Hell, and when God looks in he sees that everyone’s chillin’ and enjoying themselves, which God isn’t happy about. So, he says to the devil, ‘You have to send that engineer to me, in Heaven,’ and the devil says ‘No, I like this guy. I’m keeping him.’ So God says: ‘If you don’t send that engineer here, I’ll sue!’ And the devil replies: ‘But I have all the lawyers!'”

(I wait for a response from my classmate, who looks both amused and appalled. It occurs to me that something might be wrong.)

Me: “Wait… you’re not religious, are you?”

Classmate: *nods*

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t think—”

Classmate: “—and my mum’s a lawyer.”