So Embarrassed You Could Just Dye

(I’m a retail worker who works the counter at the gaming and entertainment area of a major Australian retailer. One quiet Sunday, a young couple approaches my desk with a video game box — we keep all discs locked in drawers behind the counter — and I approach them to serve.)

Me: “Hi, guys, how can I help you today?”

(The male customer holds out the game case, going oddly silent.)

Me: “Just this one?”

Male Customer: “Yes, thanks.”

Me: “No worries, guys; won’t be a minute.”

(As I head to the back of my counter to get the game for them, they start their conversation back up whispering quickly and quietly behind my back. After retrieving the game, I head back to the counter and they fall silent again. I start to ring them up.)

Male Customer: “Hey, mate, can we buy this stuff here, too?” *holds up a basket full of small items*

Me: “Of course!”

(As our store has a policy that customers can be served at any register regardless of what they’re buying, I begin to scan the rest of their items, all the while the customers are whispering furiously between them. Suddenly, the male customer turns quickly and looks me dead in the eye.)

Male Customer: “Hey, buddy, can this—” *holds up hair dye* “—be used on pubic hair?”

(The female customer turns beet red, whimpers, and begins to walk quickly away.) 

Male Customer: “[FEMALE CUSTOMER], COME BACK! I’M JUST TRYING TO MAKE SURE YOU DON’T HURT YOURSELF!”

Me: “Uh… I’m sorry, but that’s not really something that I have any knowledge about; perhaps the girls in cosmetics can help you out.”

(Minutes later, the couple walked back past my desk, the girl still clearly embarrassed. The guy, looking excited, grabbed the hair dye out of the bag and held it up for me to see, enthusiastically giving a thumbs up. The nine or so customers at my desk who had witnessed the conversation before all promptly burst out laughing while the guy walked off waving.)