So-Duh

(I work as a waitress at a low-end diner. Recently, we switched from selling Pepsi to Coke products. I have had some trouble explaining this to dedicated patrons in the past, but this one incident takes the cake.)

Me: “Hi! I’m [My Name], and I will be your waitress this evening. Can I get you started off with something to drink; maybe some lemonade, iced tea, or a Cok—”

Customer: “I’ll take a Pepsi, diet.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we have Coke products. Perhaps you’d like a Dr. Pepper or Root—”

Customer:” Oh, I guess Mountain Dew is fine, then.”

Me: “I’m sorry, Mountain Dew is a Pepsi product. We have Co—”

Customer: *louder than before* “I’ll take a SIERRA MIST.”

Me: *desperately* “Is Sprite okay?”

Customer: *practically shouting* “No, I don’t LIKE Sprite! Jesus Christ, what do you guys sell here?!”

Me: “We sell Coke products, ma’am…”

(I then recite a comprehensive list of all Coke products we have.)

Customer: *thinking* “You know what? I’ll just have a water. I shouldn’t be drinking soda anyway.”

Me: “I’ll get that for you right away…”

(She was cheerful for the rest of the meal but left no tip. My manager told me that she does this every week and every week she complains to corporate.)