Snow Place Like Home

I’m leading a tour group up to one of the best lookout points in the park.

Me: “And if you look way out past the ridge, you’ll see the peaks that stay snow-covered most of the year. It’s one of the most photographed views in the park.”

A tourist squints, then raises a hand.

Tourist: “Is that Canada?”

Me: “No, sir. Canada is several hundred miles further north. Those are still U.S. mountains.”

Tourist: *Shaking his head.* “No. That has to be Canada.”

Me: “Sir, I assure you those mountains are still part of the USA.”

Tourist: “Nope. If there’s snow, it has to be Canada. I know what I’m talking about.”

Not knowing what else to say, all I can come up with is:

Me: “No, sir, that’s still the USA. We do snow, too.”

The group chuckles quietly, and I hear a few comments:

Other Tourist #1: “By that logic, my freezer is Canadian territory! They should open a consulate there.”

Other Tourist #2: “Canada called, they’d like their mountains back.”

Other Tourist #3: “Aspen has been lying to us all these years?!”

That’s enough to encourage Mr. “I know what I’m talking about” to be quiet, and I can continue the tour uninterrupted.