Sneezing Is Something To Be Sneezed At

I’m working Produce in a grocery store when a customer waves me over.

Customer: “Excuse me! I just had a man sneeze near me in the bread aisle. Aren’t you going to do something about that?”

Me: “Was he sneezing on the bread?”

Customer: “No, but still. It’s unsanitary! Shouldn’t there be a policy?”

Me: “Well, we do encourage tissues.”

Customer: “You’re not taking this very seriously!”

I have a lot to do, and I know this type of customer won’t be satisfied with what I, a lowly stock peon, will say.

Me: “Would you like me to get my manager for you?”

Customer: “Yes, since you seem useless!”

I call him over and get back to work. He appears a minute later and hears the customer’s complaint. After he tries to be reasonable with her, she insults his intelligence, so he says:

Manager: “Well, ma’am, we were going to deploy a hazmat team, but they’re still busy chasing someone who coughed near the cereal.”

She didn’t like that, but she also stomped away without saying anything else, so I washed my hands of it and continued stocking the avocados!