Snaking Around School

, , , , , | Learning | July 15, 2018

(We have a classmate that is unpleasant to be around. We got a new student this semester; she’s sweet, and is the awful classmate’s latest victim.)

New Girl: *opens her locker and takes out a snake* “Hello, cutie. How did you end up here? I should really get the lock fixed.”

Awful Classmate: “You’re not scared? It’s a biga** snake! It could’ve been poisonous.”

New Girl: “The word you’re looking for is venomous. If it were venomous, I doubt you’d risk it just for the sake of a prank — although I’ve seen people dumber than that — and this sweetheart seems quite calm around humans.”

Boyfriend: “I think we should take it back to the biology lab.”

(They go, leaving the bully shocked, and me laughing.)

Awful Classmate: “What’s so f****** funny?”

Me: “You tried to prank the daughter of a reptile breeder with a snake.”

Awful Classmate: “How was I supposed to know?!”

Me: “Pay attention to anyone other than yourself? I mean, she talks about it quite often.”

(We didn’t have much trouble after that, and the awful girl was kicked out a month later. Lucky us.)

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