Snacking On Knowledge

(I have a talented classmate who simply has an inability to sit still and focus during long lectures. His fidgeting disturbs the class, so I bring him fruit and snacks to keep him occupied when he gets too twitchy. This day, we have a lecturer who drones on and on about economics. We’re two hours into the four hour morning lecture.)

Classmate: *whispering* “Do you have anything today?”

Me: *hands him a banana*

Classmate: *whispering* “Thanks!”

(Class progresses normally, while he eats the banana, leaving the peel on his notebook in front of him.)

Lecturer: “That’s a banana peel! Do you smuggle bananas?”

Classmate: “No…”

Me: “Nope. I do.”

(During the afternoon, again about two hours into a four hour lecture, my classmate pokes my shoulder and I hand over a small box of trail mix. He gives me a bill in return, paying for that week’s fruits and snacks.)

Lecturer: “AHA! It’s not fruit smuggling! You’ll smuggle anything, won’t you?”

Me: “Depends on what you pay.”

Lecturer: “…and that’s a perfect example of mutually beneficial capitalism at its best. Brilliant, brilliant! Keep it up.”

(I look at my classmate and shrug. He shrugs back and pops a piece of the trail mix into his mouth.)

Classmate: “You’ve received an order. Resistance is futile.”

(I kept bringing him snacks until we graduated.)