Smells Like Teenage Professionalism

(I have hit my “teenage rebellion” stage at the very tail end of being a teenager, and chopped off my long hair for the first time — I’m a woman — and gotten a couple extra piercings in my ears — second lobe piercings and helix piercings. My mom is not so thrilled, especially when I video-call home from college with half my hair a little long and the other half shaved in an undercut and tinted red instead of dark blonde.)

Mom: “Oh, my goodness, [My Name], you need to start going somewhere that does your hair even!”

Me: “Oh, the dye? Yeah, a friend did it, so it’s a little uneven, but– Oh, wait. You mean the cut?”

Mom: “Yes, I mean the cut!”

Me: *grins* “If you prefer, I could just shave it all off and make it even.”

Mom: “NO! No, no, no, no! It’s okay!”

(A few weeks later, I get a trim and get the longer side cut even shorter, well above my ears to show off the piercings, and reshave the short side and shave the back more. Then, I come home for Christmas.)

Mom: *hugs me* “Good to have you home! I see you cut your hair again.”

Me: “Yup! It was starting to get in my eyes.”

Mom: “You know, I liked it better when it was longer on that side. It looked pretty professional and just had a bit of edge to it with the shaved part. You look very much your age now.”

Me: “Mom, I’m 19 and in college. I don’t have to look professional yet. I’m supposed to look my age.”