Smarty Pants

(There’s a guy in my high school theater department who isn’t necessarily a bad guy, but he just doesn’t realize when he’s being annoying instead of funny and can’t let a bad joke die. His favorite joke recently is to ask people for a song title and then shout, “In my pants!” For example…)

Guy: “Hey, [Girl], what’s your favorite song?”

Girl: “Oooh, Defying Gravity!“

Guy: “In my pants!”

Girl: “Ewww.”

(As you can imagine, this gets old quickly, and he keeps it up for almost a month before I get an idea.)

Guy: “Hey, [My Name], what’s the last song you listened to?”

Me: “Can’t Get It Up if the Girl’s Breathing.”

Guy: “In my… Oh. Wait. Ewwww. That’s not a real song!”

Me: “Yeah, it is, it’s from Repo! The Genetic Opera.”

(The whole group has recently seen this musical.)

Guy: “That totally wasn’t in the movie!”

(I am prepared for this, so I pull out my iPod and show him the song, halfway down the show’s soundtrack.)

Me: “It was cut from the final movie, but they included it on the soundtrack as a bonus. Have fun with those mental images!”

(He stopped doing it after that!)

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