Sliding Around That One

(I work for an airline and we have just landed into a major UK airport at a very busy time. We are currently waiting on a member of ground staff to attach the air-bridge so our passengers can disembark. We have been waiting on the ground for approximately five minutes.)

Passenger: *a man who was perfectly civil and seemed relatively smart during the flight* “Can you not just use the emergency slide?”

Purser: *after realising that they are not joking* “No, sir.”

Passenger: “Why an earth not?”

Purser: “One: it’s not an emergency. Two: it’s unbelievably dangerous to anyone around on the ground. Three: it costs around £60,000. Four: it renders the aircraft unserviceable and means the next flight must be cancelled. And five: it wouldn’t get you anywhere except underneath the plane instead of on it.”

(The air-bridge was attached about two minutes later and we heard no more about the slide from anyone!)