Sleeping Through This Particular Lesson

(While my mom was pregnant with me she was having trouble sleeping. Her doctor prescribed some kind of sedative for her. The first night home with the pills, my dad — a preacher at the time — decides that he will give my mom a short lecture about the pills. He sits her on the bed and has a glass of water in one hand and a pill in the other.)

Dad: “I know you don’t like to take medications, but you really need to get some sleep. So, while I watch you, you’re going to put the pill in your mouth…”

(By way of demonstration, he pops the pill into his mouth.)

Dad: “…and then you’re going to swallow it down with some water.”

(Again, he demonstrated by taking a swig of the water. Too late, he realized with horror that he had just taken a sleeping pill. My mom thought it was hysterical. This set the trend for the last 57 years — and counting — where my dad essentially played straight-man to my mother and me. As for the church board meeting he had that night, he had a miserable time trying to stay awake for it.)