Skirting Around Doing Any Work

| Working | January 7, 2016

(I am a rather young male editor and have worked in one of the biggest newspapers in the country for only a short while. I dress up very colorfully, and one day we find a blanket at the office that exactly matches my shirt colour. We make a skirt of it with a coworker.)

Our Boss: “Hey, [My Name]. If you go up to the cafeteria wearing that, I’ll buy you coffee and cake.”

Me: “It’s a deal.”

(I proceed to walk downstairs to the cafeteria, where the editorial chief is sitting.)

Editorial Chief: “Hey, [My Name]. If you go downtown wearing that you’ll get a free lunch and ice cream for dessert tomorrow.”

Me: “Wow, dressing up in this was a lucrative deal.”

Editorial Chief: “Report in my office after you have finished that coffee.”

(And in ten minutes I am in his office.)

Editorial Chief: “All right. You go to the nearest supermarket and buy me two oranges. Bring back the receipt, I’ll refund them, and you get the lunch.”

Me: “Actually, my new passport has just arrived and I should go pick it up. How about I go and get it from the police station?

Editorial Chief: “Okay, that’s fine. Take [Coworker] with you as an eyewitness. You may use the company car, but park it so far away that nobody will realize that this has anything to do with our newspaper. Hey, [Coworker], get your ass up here”

Coworker: “Yeah, boss?”

Editorial Chief: “[My Name] is going to pick up his passport from the police station wearing that thing as a skirt. You follow him and make sure that he does it.”

Coworker: “What, on company time?”

Editorial Chief: “In your contracts, it says that your duties may include other things addressed to you by your superiors. This is one of them. Just go.”

(Eventually we went to the police station to get my passport. The police acted like I would have been just an ordinary customer while my coworker was filming everything. All this took about an hour of company time, and I got the free lunch.)

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