Skipped A To E

(This story took place when I was a teenager. My youngest brother and I have been waging a prank war all week; it’s important to know that I’ve always been a huge goody two-shoes while he has a tendency to take things too far. One day, as I’m walking by the couch, he reaches out and tugs on my braid, and I end up slipping and landing on my tailbone pretty hard.)

Me: “F***!”

(At first he’s shocked, but then starts laughing, and I beg him not to tell our parents, who aren’t home at the time. He promises not to… until we’re driving home from a relative’s house the next day, of course.)

Youngest Brother: “Mom, she swore yesterday.”

Me: “It just slipped out and—”

Mom: “It’s okay. [Youngest Brother], we all know how responsible your sister is, right?” *to me* “You’re getting older, and I understand you might use those kinds of words when you’re angry or joking around. As long as it’s not someplace inappropriate, or in front of certain people, okay?”

Me: *immensely relieved* “Of course.”

(We drive in silence for a minute or two, with me having completely forgotten about the hair-pulling that led to the incident.)

Mom: *with a bit of a laugh* “I don’t think your father will believe it, though. What did you say?”

Youngest Brother: *before I can reply* “The F-word!”

(We all jerk forward slightly as my mother hits the breaks in shock.)

Mom: “I’ll admit, that wasn’t the one I expected to be your first.”