Sink Or Dim(witted)

(I work for a large water park that has a ride that involves a jump off a twenty-five-foot cliff and a Tarzan rope swing. On these rides, we have a series of questions we legally must ask.)

Me: “Are you a good swimmer?”

Guest: “Huh?”

Me: “Are you a good swimmer?”

Guest: “Oh… uh… yeah, of course.”

Me: “Any head, neck, or back injuries?”

Guest: *indignant* “Would I be standing here if I did? No injuries!”

Me: “Any history of heart problems?”

Guest: “Nope.”

Me: “Any shoulder dislocations?”

Guest: *rolls shoulders* “No, I’m good.”

Me: “Okay, no flipping or diving. Grab this rope, and you’re good to go…”

(The guest proceeds to swing out over the water and falls off almost instantly. I look down and see him struggling to stay afloat, so my coworker jumps in and leads him to the ladder. I close off the ride to fill out a report for the save.)

Me: *to coworker* “What happened?!”

Coworker: “I don’t exactly know. He says his shoulder hurts.”

Me: “Sir, have you ever had a dislocated shoulder?”

Guest: “Yes, why do you ask?”

Me: “Because when I asked you before, you said no, and now you hurt it. Also, was it because of your shoulder that you were having trouble swimming?”

Guest: “No. I just can’t swim.”

Me: “So, when I asked if you were a good swimmer, why did you say yes?”

Guest: “I didn’t realize I would have to swim!”