Signs It’s Time For A Break

(In my sign language class, we are learning how to tell someone why we need to leave a pre-arranged meeting early, why we need to leave it immediately, or why we missed the last one. We get slips of paper explaining which one we are assigned, but we get to make up our own reasons.)

Teacher: “Alright, [my name], your turn.”

Me: *in ASL* “I have to leave class early today to go to the dentist.”

(The signs for ‘go’ and ‘fast’ are very similar.)

Teacher: “Actually, to say ‘go,’ instead of doing what you did, you need to do this.” *demonstrates the sign for ‘go’* “What you did was the sign for ‘fast.’ Alright, [Student #1], your turn.”

Student #1: *in ASL* “I need to leave class right now; my brother just died.”

Teacher: “Well, how’d he die?”

Student #1: *in ASL* “I killed him.”

Teacher: “… [Student #2]?”

Student #2: *in ASL* “Sorry I missed the last class. I was on vacation in New York City.”

(This story obviously does not take place in New York City.)

Teacher: “Oh, really?”

Student #2: *in English* “Yeah, I’m still there, actually.”

Student #1: “Wait, how does—”

Student #2: “This is the hologram version of me.”

(Student #1 reaches over to touch Student #2, who backs away.)

Student #2: “Hey, the real me just came back! Gotta go!” *runs out of the classroom*

Student #1: “I need to go kill my brother.” *runs out of classroom, too*

Me: “And I need to see a fast dentist!” *also runs out of the classroom*