Signing Himself Out Of The Modern Age

(I work at an assisted living facility. We have a sign-in computer at the front desk. It’s fairly new and while there have been a few who don’t like it, most people have been agreeable about it.)

Visitor: “What’s this? Where’s the book?”

Me: “That’s our new sign-in computer. We’ve done away with the book to save on paper.”

Visitor: “Well, this doesn’t work for me. Give me the book.”

Me: “We don’t have it anymore. Here, I’ll show you how—”

Visitor: *cuts me off* “No! This doesn’t work for me!”

(This repeats over and over, with me offering to show him how to use it — it’s a very user-friendly, super easy interface — and him telling me it “doesn’t work for him” every time. Finally, his wife comes in from parking the car.)

Visitor’s Wife: “Honey, have you signed in?”

Visitor: “NO! I’m not going to. This doesn’t work for me.” *said with all the whiny petulance of a small toddler*

Visitor’s Wife: *rolls eyes* “You’re going to get it, dear. Just do this…” *signs him in while he watches with a sour, pouty face*

Visitor: “Whatever. It doesn’t work for me.”

(Then, he took the printed name badge, LICKED THE BACK, and looked super confused as to why it fell to the floor instead of sticking to his shirt. His wife and I shared a look of bewilderment and shook our heads as she peeled the back off and silently stuck it to him. I managed to not laugh until they left.)