Sickly Sweet Smile

(Some friends and I have driven into the city for a fun day out. The friend who drove is a safe driver, but he tends to turn the car too hard and stop too roughly for people prone to motion sickness. By the time we arrive, I’m very carsick and trying desperately not to throw up. I get out of the car and sit on a nearby curb with my head in my hands. My friends are milling around, fretting over me, and it should be clear to anyone watching that I’m not feeling well. A group of men we don’t know passes by and stops to look at us.)

Random Man: *talking to me* “Hey, you should smile. You’ll look prettier.”

Me: *gaping at him in disbelief, too nauseous to speak*

Random Man: *looking pleased with himself, like he just gave some amazing life advice*

(Unfortunately, I was too sick to respond before he walked away. I wish now that I had walked over to him and thrown up on his expensive-looking shoes.)