Sick Of Your Parenting Assumptions

(I’m a 23-year-old woman who moved away from home over four years ago. I have no significant other or kids, so I’m only fending for myself. Because I rarely get sick, I have never gotten around to buying a thermometer. Finally I do catch a cold, so I decide to pick one up. I’m not feeling entirely clearheaded because of my cold.)

Pharmacy Assistant: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Me: “Hi! I’m looking for a thermometer. Where can I find them?”

Pharmacy Assistant: “They’re here.” *shows me a baby thermometer* “This one is really good if your kids are really young, because it has a soft tip and it gives results fast.” *shows me two more baby thermometers* “These are also good for kids.”

(A long silence follows, as I try to figure out in my woozy head why I should be using it on kids, not myself.)

Pharmacy Assistant: “Oh, and here’s our basic model. But those are all really good for kids!” *looks at me expectantly*

(Feeling like a bad mother to my non-existent children, I picked up the basic model and thanked her. Don’t adults take their own temperature any more?)