Sick Of Your Morning Sickness

(My mother-in-law is pretty traditional and incredibly opinionated: marriage before intimacy, and so on. Sometimes she speaks her often ridiculous opinions before she processes the logistics. Before I was married, if had a stomach bug or anything it was always the same:)

Mother-In-Law: “There’s a bug going around; you’ll live.”

(Fast forward to my honeymoon. We’re gone seven days. On the flight back, my husband and I both start feeling a bit gross: nausea, stomach cramps, etc. We pop in to see my husband’s family when we get back.)

Mother-In-Law: “You must be pregnant.”

Me: “Yeah, no. And, anyway, [Husband] is sick, too. Is he pregnant?”

Mother-In-Law: *ignoring my comment* “Trust me; you’re definitely pregnant. Get a test.”

(She walked away, leaving me dumbstruck. She never jumped to this confusion before we were married. I mean, we lived together for six years. And by the way, we were both fine.)