Shut The Front Door!

I work in an assisted living facility. Our entrance has two sets of double doors on either end of a small vestibule — one set on the outside and the other on the inside. The door you are meant to push or pull to go in or out has a shiny metal push plate or a shiny metal pull bar. Both are large and super obvious. Or not, I guess.

On the outside set of doors, if you don’t pull open the correct door, it will cause both doors to crash together loudly when the next person opens the correct door. It’s super hard to open the wrong door, so you’d think that would be a clue, but no.

On the inside set of doors, you have to push the left-hand door to go out, but only after I’ve pushed the unlock button, because it’s a locked unit. When you are barreling towards the door at mach 10, and I am busy with other tasks, don’t be surprised if your stupid self smacks into the door because it takes me a second to push the button. Also, staring with a vacant expression or outright glaring at me when the door doesn’t open at your whim doesn’t work, either. You know you moved your loved one into a locked unit, so — surprise! — the doors lock. Amazing, I know.

There’s also the fact of the alarm system in place; if someone repeatedly pushes on the door when it’s locked, the alarm triggers, and it’s loud. So, don’t stand there stupidly and push the door over and over just because I didn’t press unlock right away. Sometimes it’s loud in here and I’m busy with something else and I don’t see you right away. Chill. Also, if the alarm triggers when you’re coming in or out, as it sometimes does when the door is opened too close to when it closes, don’t stand there keeping the d*** thing from closing! If it doesn’t close, I can’t reset it, and the alarm will keep going off while you waste time glaring at me about it.

I’ve had signs that say, “Push,” and, “Pull,” on the appropriate doors, but apparently, I’m the only one who’s literate around here. I also thought about giant signs saying, “NO,” on the wrong doors… but I’m guessing two letters would be too difficult, as well.