Showing Some Restraint While Shopping

(My boyfriend and I are at a popular novelty store that sells certain… bedroom things. We have just picked up a set of restraints and go to the counter to purchase them.)

Cashier #1: “Did you find everything all right today?”

Me: “Yeah, thanks. We’re just getting these.” *sets the box on the counter*

Cashier #1: *turns bright pink* “Uh, um, I’ll just, uh, let me get someone to take of that for you.”

(He scrambles into the back, leaving my boyfriend and me to exchange a confused look. After a moment he returns with another cashier in tow. She takes one look at our purchase and turns on him.)

Cashier #2: “Geez, dude, they’re just restraints! It’s not like they’re buying a vibrator or anything! How do you even work here?!”

(He blushes and stammers an apology and disappears into the back of the store again. Meanwhile, my boyfriend and I are trying desperately to keep straight faces.)

Cashier #2: *to us* “I can ring you folks out. I’m really sorry about that. I don’t know how he’s lasted this long here.”

Boyfriend: *trying not to laugh* “No, that’s fine. Thanks for your help.”

Me: “It’s a good thing we didn’t find a vibrator we liked. That poor kid probably would have died right then and there.”