After The Terrible Twos Come The Flirty Threes

(My mother and stepfather have my niece [8 months] and nephews [2½  and 5] one day and they want to go out to eat, so they take the kids to one of their favorite restaurants. While the older boy is playing with his little sister, the 2½-year-old is smitten with their waitress, a tall, pretty blonde girl in her late teens.)

Waitress: “Oh, aren’t you just a little sweetie!”

Nephew: “Thanks, and you’re a nice and pretty lady.”

Waitress: “Why, thank you! I bet you say that to all the girls.”

Nephew: “Nope, just you right now.”

Mother: “Aw, [Nephew], are you flirting with her?”

Nephew: “Yeah, Nana…”

(The waitress is giggling the whole time she’s finishing their order and then heads over to the cook to put it in. When he asks what she’s laughing about, she tells him about my nephew. He gets a look of disbelief on his face.)

Cook: *loud enough for the restaurant to hear* “Wow, little man thinks he knows what he’s talking about, huh? There’s no way he know what that means!”

Mom: “Did you hear that? Tell him you know what flirting is!”

Nephew: “Mind your own d*** business!”

(The restaurant was silent for about three seconds before the whole place erupted in laughter. After they finish their meal and tip and are walking out, my nephew decides he’s not done…)

Nephew: “Call me!”

Older Nephew: “On what phone?! Nana’s never going to let you give out her number!”

(They laughed again and told my mom and stepdad they’re welcome back with the kids at any time, as the kids were otherwise well behaved and they could use a laugh every now and again.)