Should’ve Peed Before You Pattied, I Guess

I have a small diner in central Kansas. The kitchen is visible from the dining area. One afternoon, I got an order for a patty melt. I threw the burger on, and I knew I had a few minutes before I had to flip it, so I ran to the restroom real quick, as I really had to go.

I opened the door, and the lady who ordered the patty melt was standing in the doorway, blocking my exit.

Customer: “Aren’t you supposed to be cooking my patty melt?!”

Me: “It’s not going to cook any faster if I stare at it.”