Should Write This Story Down

(I am at my boyfriend’s house and I get up to go to the bathroom, forgetting that I am on my period and should grab a pad in case mine needs to be changed. Sure enough, the pad is very much full. I call him and he comes to the door and asks what I need. Having asked him to grab a pad for me in the past without incident, I ask him to get me one out of my bag.)

Boyfriend: “Okay, where’s your bag?”

Me: “Downstairs in that corner by the couch.”

(He is gone for a while and I think nothing of it because my bag is a very large tote bag that I use to carry my laptop and its charger, my hard drawing portfolio in case I get bored and want to sketch, and still have room for other stuff. I can even use it as an overnight bag and fit a change of clothes and snacks in there. Finally he comes back up and as I am unlocking the door for him, I hear this gem:)

Boyfriend: “I found a pen-cil.” *with emphasis on cil*

Me: “Wait… what?”

Boyfriend: “I found a pencil.”

Me: *trying to figure out how this happened* “I asked for a pad…”

Boyfriend: “Oh! I thought you said pen.”

Me: “Why would I need a pen or pencil while on the toilet?!”

Boyfriend: “I don’t know. I thought maybe you wanted to write something down.” *goes back downstairs*

(After a bit, he comes back up again. I reach over and unlock the door and he sticks his hand in… holding something very tiny.)

Me: “What?” *laughing* “No! That’s a freaking panty liner!”

Boyfriend: “Well, it’s all I could find.”

Me: “All right, I’ll put it in for now and go down and look for myself.”

(I go down there and look in my bag to find out that he only dug around on one side of the bag by my portfolio. I pull it upright from its leaning position and look between it and the laptop and triumphantly find a pad, showing him.)

Boyfriend: “Oh, shush.”

Me: “Okay, but even if I HAD asked for a pen, I know for a fact I have at least two black ones in there, plus all my markers. There is no paper in the bathroom, if I needed to write something down, I would have had to use my arm and a pencil wouldn’t really work for that.”

Boyfriend: “Well, I found the white gel pens and the markers…”