Should The Board Be Worried?

(Many years ago, before Facebook was even a thing, I was a member of an active Internet message board. We all had screen names that we used in lieu of our real names. Many of us became friends in real life, and attended various gatherings all over the country. For some reason, I became the one that everybody trusted with their real world contact information (email addresses, phone numbers, etc.), and if somebody went missing from the board for too long, I would be asked to check on them. So, cue a (male) member going missing for a couple weeks, who was usually on every day. Somebody asks me to call him, so I look through my info and dial the phone. Never had it dawned on me, until a female answers the phone, that I have no idea what this guy’s real name is… All I know is his screen name.)

Wife: “Hello?”

Me: “Um…”

Wife: “Who is this?”

Me: “Okay. This is going to sound super-strange, but is this the phone number belonging to somebody who uses the screen name [Screen Name] on the website [Message Board]?”

Wife: *long silence* “I think you maybe want my husband?”

Me: “I promise I’m not a crazy stalker; it’s just that he hasn’t been online and the board is worried about him.”

Wife: *laughing* “Honey! Come to the phone and tell your crazy friends that our computer has been down!”

(Needless to say, I made sure to note everybody’s real first name after that! He was back online a few days later.)