Should Have Tried To Squirrel Away

, , , , | Right | November 8, 2015

(After clocking off from work and grabbing a basket to do some quick shopping for dinner, I am stopped no more than ten seconds into my shopping by an elderly customer looking for items. I am off the clock, but I am always willing to answer questions while still in uniform, especially now that our location is undergoing renovation and a lot of customers get frustrated with the item relocation.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss, but where are the peanuts for squirrels, and the wild birdseed?”

Me: “Well, we moved the birdseed to [Aisle], but I’m afraid we don’t carry peanuts for squirrels. We have corn cobs and…”

Customer: *cuts me off with a disbelieving tone* “Yes, YOU DO. I used to buy it all the time. It was over by the bananas, but now they’re not there anymore!”

Me: *thinking maybe I had missed something* “You said peanuts for squirrels?”

Customer: “Yes, they were raw, unsalted peanuts and they came in a clear package by the bananas. They’re not made for squirrels, but that’s what I feed them.”

(At this point, it dawned on me that she was talking about one of the many kinds of specially packaged nuts we kept in the produce section. I was wondering why she had phrased the request the way she did when a well-meaning coworker who had overheard the exchange (and knew I was off the clock) came by and offered to show her where the peanuts were moved to. That was probably the funniest exchange I’d had all day.)


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