Should Have Tried To Squirrel Away

Austin, Grocery Store, Impossible Demands, Texas, USA | Right | November 8, 2015

(After clocking off from work and grabbing a basket to do some quick shopping for dinner, I am stopped no more than ten seconds into my shopping by an elderly customer looking for items. I am off the clock, but I am always willing to answer questions while still in uniform, especially now that our location is undergoing renovation and a lot of customers get frustrated with the item relocation.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss, but where are the peanuts for squirrels, and the wild birdseed?”

Me: “Well, we moved the birdseed to [Aisle], but I’m afraid we don’t carry peanuts for squirrels. We have corn cobs and…”

Customer: *cuts me off with a disbelieving tone* “Yes, YOU DO. I used to buy it all the time. It was over by the bananas, but now they’re not there anymore!”

Me: *thinking maybe I had missed something* “You said peanuts for squirrels?”

Customer: “Yes, they were raw, unsalted peanuts and they came in a clear package by the bananas. They’re not made for squirrels, but that’s what I feed them.”

(At this point, it dawned on me that she was talking about one of the many kinds of specially packaged nuts we kept in the produce section. I was wondering why she had phrased the request the way she did when a well-meaning coworker who had overheard the exchange (and knew I was off the clock) came by and offered to show her where the peanuts were moved to. That was probably the funniest exchange I’d had all day.)

This story is part of our Squirrel roundup!