Should Have Read The Fine-Prints

(I’m a manager in retail. I am called to the photo section after a customer decides he doesn’t want some pictures, but then decides he should get them for free after finding out what a waste prints are.)

Me: “So, these are the pictures you want, and these are the ones you don’t want?”

Customer: “No, I want all those. The ones I don’t want are behind you.”

Me: “Oh, so those are the waste prints.”

Customer: “Yes. What do you do with those?”

Me: “We destroy them.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because pictures are private property. I have to assume you don’t want them shared with strangers, so we dispose of them.”

Customer: “Can I have them for free, then?”

Me: “If I sell them to you, sure.”

Customer: “But you’re just going to destroy them.”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “So you should just give them to me for free instead of wasting them.”

Me: “I can’t do that. That’s like handing items on the shelf out for free.”

Customer: “But where’s the profit in just tearing them up?”

Me: “Well, where’s the profit in giving them out for free?”

Customer: “So, there’s no profit anyway. So, you should give them to me for free.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. Again, that’s like handing merchandise out for free. I can give them to you if I can sell them to you, though.”

Customer: “No, that’s okay. Is Kathy here?”

(Note: Kathy is my boss.)

Me: “Nope, not today.”

Customer: “Oh. Because if she were here, she’d give them to me.”

Me: “That may be, but unless I hear it from her, I won’t give them out. If I start handing stuff out for free, I’m going to get in trouble.”

Customer: “Oh no, don’t, I don’t want you to be in trouble, see, I’m a preacher!”

Me: “Well that’s good! I don’t want to be in trouble, either!”