Should Have Intervened On Their Intervention

, | Friendly | June 13, 2017

(I have been invited out by a group of university friends. We have been shown to a table, and are ordering drinks.)

Me: “I’ll have a [Cider], please.”

Friend #1: *interrupting* “He’ll just have water, thanks.”

Me: “What the h***?”

Friend #1: *shrugs* “[My Name], we’ve all invited you out because of your alcohol problem. This is an intervention.”

(All of the table are nodding in concern and some are patting my hand and arm.)

Me: “What the h*** are you talking about?”

Friend #1: “We’ve all seen your Facebook profile, and we’re worried that your drinking problem is becoming an issue.”

Me: “My Facebook profile?”

Friend #1: “Your pictures from the stag do.”

Friend #2: “And your sister’s wedding.”

Friend #1: “And that night in London.”

Me: “Wait, wait, wait. You’re thinking of [Other Friend]. I’ve been in Saudi Arabia for two months. You can’t even drink there!”

(A look of realisation spreads across the table.)

Friend #1: “Oh, no. We invited the wrong friend out!”

(They all left swiftly afterward and I was left with the drinks bill. Honestly, these “friends” could turn you to drink. As for Other Friend, our names are nothing alike, so I’m still clueless as to how they confused us.)

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