Should Have Inquired Down Another Avenue
(My sister and I are big Broadway fans. My dad decides to surprise us by getting the family tickets to see “Avenue Q.”)
Me: “Four tickets for…” *gasps* “Avenue Q!”
Dad: “Yup!”
Me: “AAAGH, OH, MY GOD, YES! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!”
(I start flailing happily. My sister comes running down the stairs.)
Sister: “What’s wrong?”
Me: “AVENUE Q TICKETS!”
Sister: “SHUT UP!”
Me: “YES!”
Sister: “OH, MY GOD!”
Aunt: “What’s Avenue Q?”
Dad: “Oh, no…”
Me: “YOU’RE JOKING!”
(My aunt has a sudden look of fear.)
Me: “IT’S LIKE SESAME STREET—”
Sister: “FOR ADULTS—”
Me: “AND THEY TALK ABOUT ADULT STUFF—”
Sister: “LIKE SEX—”
Me: “AND GAY PEOPLE—”
Sister: “AND LOSING JOBS—”
Me: “AND GARY COLEMAN—”
(My sister and I continue shouting broken sentences at my aunt as she shrinks down in fear.)
Me: “DOESN’T IT SOUND AMAZING?!”
Aunt: “You know what… never mind. I’ll just look it up myself.”
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