Should Have Gotten Insurance Against Making Stupid Threats

(I work in a call center that handles enrollment for subsidized insurance. As the application is for government assistance, it is very thorough, and if the information doesn’t match what is in the State and Federal Data Sources, such as your tax return, you must send documentation as proof by a specific date. This is normal for income documentation. Toward the end of a call:)

Caller: “Okay, so, let me get this straight. MY FIVE-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER DOESN’T HAVE INSURANCE AND IS IN THE HOSPITAL, AND YOU ARE GOING TO DENY US OUR RIGHT TO MEDICAID UNTIL I SUBMIT PAYSTUBS?!”

Me: “We need to verify your income, because the income you stated does not match what is in the state a federal data sources. We need you to send your last four paystubs to verify your eligibility.”

Caller: “Why wasn’t I ever told about this?”

Me: “We have sent you multiple notices for the past two months and your account has been notated by multiple representatives that you have refused to send documentation.”

Caller: “Fine. When do I need to get the documents in by?”

(I see the due date is one day away and start to provide him with a fifteen-day extension of the due date.)

Me: “I see your due date is for tomorrow, so I’m—”

Caller: “THERE’S NO WAY I’M GETTING IT IN BY TOMORROW! ARE YOU F****** KIDDING ME?!”

Me: “Sir, one moment, I’m…”

Caller: “No, I’ll tell you what, sir. I have a smartphone, a really, really smart phone.”

Me: “Okay.”

Caller: “My phone shows me exactly where you are located and I’m going to come down to your office, beat the s*** out of you, and shoot up your office if you don’t activate this insurance now.”

(We take threats very seriously and are told to report them to security and remain on the line with callers.)

Me: “Okay, sir. Unfortunately, there is no way for you to know if we are in New York, Texas, or Saudi Arabia. But what I do know is that I have your name, phone number, date of birth, Social Security number, and your address. That’s all the information I need to file a police report; in this instance, you are threatening a government facility and I’m required to do so. However, because of your situation, I’m going to give you a choice. Number one: you can apologize, let me finish my sentence, and I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that, or number two: I’ll disconnect and file that police report.”

(The client is now dead silent.)

Client: *stuttering* “I’m sorry. I’m just really nervous with my daughter.”

Me: “I understand that — I would be, too — but please think before threatening a government facility in the future. I was going to tell you that while the due date is for tomorrow, I’ve gone ahead and provided you with a fifteen-day extension of the due date and you can call back in eight days to ask for an additional one. Do you have any other questions for me?”

(We wrapped up the call and I never got talked to about it, even though the majority of our calls are monitored by quality assurance.)