Should Have Chainsaw That Coming

, , , , | Right | September 20, 2018

(I am wearing black slacks, high heels, and a grey polo with a logo from the car dealership I work for. The staff in the hardware store wear jeans and bright orange aprons. I am in the garden section, and I ask an employee if they have any succulents left because it’s late in the season. She goes off to check, and about two minutes later an older man stops about fifteen feet away and raises his voice so I can hear him.)

Customer: “Hey! Hey, you! Where are the hose nozzles?”

Me: “Um, I don’t work here.”

Customer: “You don’t?!”

Me: “Nope!” *points to logo on my shirt* “I work for [Dealership].

Customer: “So, you don’t know where the hose nozzles are.”

(I raise an eyebrow and shake my head, and he walks away a little pissed off. Soon the actual store employee returns and points me in the right direction; she even opens their brand new shipment so I can get fresh ones! As I am picking through the succulents and putting them in my cart, ANOTHER customer walks over to me. I am currently bending over to get a closer look at some plants on the lower rows, and this middle-aged man bends over next to me.)

Customer: “I have a chainsaw, and I need some new chains, but I need a very specific—”

Me: “I don’t mean to be rude and cut you off, sir, but I don’t work here.”

(The customer leans back and looks at me like I’m crazy.)

Customer: “You don’t work here? Are you sure?”

Me: *points to logo on shirt* “Yeah, pretty sure I don’t.”

Customer: “Can you show me, anyway?”

Me: “I honestly wouldn’t know the first place to look, and quite frankly, I’m not going over to the chainsaws with a man I don’t know.” *laughs*

(The guy suddenly gets angry. I think he is getting angry over my joke, but it turns out he is pissed I don’t know where the chainsaw chains are.)

Customer: “Well, thanks for absolutely nothing. Thank God I own a [Different Model than the one I work for].”

(He turns and literally stomps away. I yell after him.)

Me: “Maybe you should try looking for someone actually wearing a orange apron? They’re super helpful!”

(He flipped me off as he turned the corner. Thank goodness he doesn’t own a [Company Model]!)

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