Should Go Back To Schnookups

(My friend is dating a new girl and things are getting serious which is unusual for him, as he usually likes to be single. He brings her to a bar to meet his friends.)

Friend: “We’re a couple now. Now, we have to start doing couple stuff.”

Friend’s girlfriend: “That sounds like it will be embarrassing and cheesy. I don’t want to do stuff like that!”

Friend: “No, it’ll be cool! We can play charades with other couples, finish each others sentences, and make up revoltingly cute pet names for each other.”

Friend’s girlfriend: “No way is that happening. You are so embarrassing sometimes!”

Friend: “Fine, I’ll do it by myself…” *loudly, so everyone in the bar hears* “…schnookums!”