Should Have Been Carted Away

(The woman currently being served has a shopping cart PILED with food, clothes and toiletries, but most of it has been rung up and bagged, so I think she is almost done. However, the next man in line, cart about 2/3 full, turns out to be her adult son, and his cart is added to her purchases. No problem, I think; only one payment to process instead of two, this will be even faster. Then the trouble begins.)

Cashier: “Your total is [nearly $900].”

Customer: “Okay.” *swipes card*

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, it’s declined.”

Customer: “Try it again!”

Cashier: *does so* “Hmm, declined. Do you have another card?”

Customer: “No, I know there’s money on that card! You’re not doing it right!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, sometimes the machine doesn’t read the strip. Let me type your number in manually… No, I’m sorry, it’s still declined. Do you have another method of payment, like a check?”

Customer: “Who writes checks anymore? I got this check CARD! That’s what it’s for!”

Cashier: “How about a credit card? Visa, Mastercard, Amex—”

Customer: “No, credit cards are a scam. Are you saying I don’t have any money? I HAVE MONEY!” *waving debit card*

Cashier: “It doesn’t tell me why it’s declined, ma’am, just that it is. There’s an ATM right there, if you’d like to step out of line and verify your balance while I ring up the next person—”

Customer: “NO! You’re helping ME! Don’t you move!”

(She has her adult son stand behind her carts so I can’t move up to the scanner belt. The cashier sighs, and shoots me an ‘I’m sorry’ look. The customer goes over to ATM and fiddles around for a few minutes, then gets on her cell phone to the bank but is stymied by the automated prompts. I think this surely can’t go on much longer, as we’re approaching the 15-minute mark for her transaction.)

Cashier: “Ma’am, if you can’t pay at this time, I need you to move aside and let other customers through. I can suspend your transaction so we won’t have to ring everything up again when you have your payment ready.”

Customer: “NO. I have money on this card! I always use this card here, and you always give me trouble about it!”

Cashier: “Do you have another card I can try? Or possibly you could remove some items from your transaction and try again with a lower total—”

Customer: “NO! I need all this stuff! And I always pay with THIS CARD! I’m not on welfare. I have money! Why won’t you take my card?!”

(The cashier summons a manager, who tells the woman the same thing; if she doesn’t have a working debit card or other form of payment, she will have to leave her two full carts of bagged items and come back when she can pay.)

Customer: “…and THAT is why I always carry cash!”

(She whipped out a huge roll of bills and peeled off the required amount, with plenty left over, then strolled out with her son and their two shopping carts as every employee and customer in earshot stood with jaws on the floor.)