Should Have Just Continued To Scroll

(Working as a server in my college town for four years, my coworkers and I had lots of conversations on lots of topics. Religion is among them. One waitress is explaining her position as it relates to religion in general, and to Christianity specifically.)

Waitress: “I mean, like, I believe in God and Jesus and stuff, but I just don’t believe the Bible at all. I think it’s a bunch of made-up stories, and I don’t want anything to do with it.”

(Within six months of this conversation, a major archaeological discovery is found: scrolls containing the Gospel of Judas. In short, they are gnostic gospels from an offshoot sect of very early Christianity, and much of what is in the Gospel of Judas directly contradicts much of the Passion story from the New Testament. It is all over the news for at least a week.)

Coworker: “Did any of you hear about that whole discovery of the Gospel of Judas? I guess it contradicts a lot of the Bible.”

Waitress: *same one as before* “Yup! I believe it! 100%! I believe it!”