Should Be A Sanity Test For Membership

(I’m a manager at a membership-based wholesale club. I get called to the customer service desk to handle a complaint and the second I see the customer I know that it’s one of our notorious nutjobs.)

Customer: “I got removed from the account and now they say I can’t shop. I’ve been a customer for twenty years!”

(I look it up; she’s been here for five.)

Me: “Well, I can see that it was a glitch in our system that caused your membership to be inactive. I’ll fix it now.”

Customer: “Oh, thank you. The girl who sent you over was so rude!”

(The employee she was talking about is an immigrant from Iraq. She speaks English beautifully but comes off as abrupt because she speaks more properly than most and emphasizes certain words.)

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, but she is just trying to convey the same thing I’m telling you but in a much more proper manner. But everything with your account is all set.”

Customer: “You are amazing, unlike her. Give me your hands.”

(She then grabs my hands and leans in.)

Me: “I’m sorry, do you need something else?”

Customer: “I was going to kiss you.”

Me: “Please don’t.”