She’s Totally Married To That Out-dated Idea

| Working | June 2, 2017

(I’m at a big box retailer with my boyfriend. We’re both twenty-year-old college juniors and look our age. We’re picking up more condoms, and since I have a latex allergy, there are few brands we can use and prefer one to the rest. However, the shelves are completely empty of that brand, so I ask a worker stocking shelves, who appears to be in her 60s.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am? I was wondering if you had any [Brand] condoms, or are you all sold out?”

Worker: “Excuse me?”

Me: “[Brand]? There’s none on the shelves. We’d prefer [Type], but we’ll just get whatever you have, if any. Would you mind checking?”

Worker: “I’m going to need to see some ID, young lady.”

Me: *laughing because I think she’s kidding* “It’s okay. We’re both adults.”

Worker: “That’s much too young to be engaging in that sort of behavior. Minors can’t buy condoms, and I’ll be calling your school to tell them you’re trying.”

Me: “We’re not minors, and there’s no law against minors buying condoms. I just wanted you to check.”

Worker: “Until I see some ID proving you’re not seventeen years old, you’re not getting anything.”

Boyfriend: “Ma’am, can we please speak to a manager?”

Worker: “He’s going to tell you the same thing, but I’ll get him. He’ll call your school, too, and tell them you’re playing hookey and buying those things. They’re probably for sexual relations.”

Me: *beyond mad at this point* “WHAT ELSE WOULD THEY BE FOR? Water balloons? Manager, now.”

Worker: “Oh, I’ll get him. He can call your parents, too. Tell them that their children are engaging in illegal behavior. That kind of behavior is for married adults only.”

(Eventually, the manager arrived and heard the entire story. He sent the old bat back to stocking and got us the condoms. Nothing happened to her as far as I know, but he did give us 10% off for our trouble. Not worth it, and we’ll just go to a different store next time.)

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