She’s Totally Lost It

, , , | Related | July 12, 2017

(I am 17, my brother, 16, and our sister is about 12. It is long before GPS units and cell phones. Our parents go away for a weekend and leave us the keys to the car and some money so we can take ourselves out to dinner for a treat. As we’re heading back home from dinner, my brother, riding shotgun, convinces me that we should go driving through an area known for fun-to-drive, windy roads. Our sister, in the back seat, starts to get nervous about us not going straight home.)

Sister: “But what if Mom and Dad call and we’re not home?”

Brother: “Then they’ll either leave a message or call back later.”

Sister: *getting whiny* “But they’ll worry! We should go straight home!”

Brother: “Stop freaking out. We’ll be home before they realize we went for a drive.”

(We drive around for about a half hour, and I realize I know a back-roads way to get home from there, which I take. My brother recognizes what I’m doing and gives me a gentle elbow, then a wink.)

Brother: *sounding worried* “Gee, I don’t recognize this area. [My Name], are you sure you know where we are?”

Me: “Of course I do. I know exactly where we are.”

Brother: “Are you sure? Are you sure we’re not lost?”

Me: “Well… I think I know where we are.”

Sister: *whimpers*

Brother: *pretending to be angry* “Oh, great. We’re lost again! Geez. You did this last time we went driving, too.”

Sister: *starting to cry and panic* “Oh, my god. Mom and Dad are going to kill us. I knew we shouldn’t have done this. Oh, my god. We’re lost. We’re lost! What are we going to do? How are we going to get home?!”

(Five minutes later I pull into our driveway and our sister stops crying. Our parents go away two more times that year and both times leave us the car. Each time we go to dinner and then for a drive, during which we ‘get lost,’ only to have our sister cry and panic because she is sure we will never get home. Twenty years later, I am talking to my mother about her recent move into a new apartment.)

Mother: “Your sister came up to help me, which was great. After we finished we went out to dinner and the strangest thing happened!”

Me: “Oh?”

Mother: “I’m not too familiar with this area yet. Coming home I made a wrong turn. I said, ‘Gee, I think we’re lost’ and your sister started crying!”

Me: *bursts out laughing*

Mother: “Oh, no. [My Name], WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

(I tell my mother about the three times they went away for a weekend, how we would go for a drive and pretend to ‘get lost,’ and our sister’s reaction to it.)

Mother: “You are such bad kids! You traumatized your little sister!” *pauses for a moment, then laughs a bit* “Actually, I can’t believe she fell for it three times!”

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