She’s Told You For The Last Time

(I live in an area where air conditioning isn’t needed for the majority of the year, or even at all in cooler years. Most people don’t have it. There are usually one or two heatwaves a year that make for an uncomfortable few days without AC. We’re currently in one of those, and it’s been dragging on for over a week. My family is being careful not to do things that will heat up the house even more, like using the oven. One afternoon, my sister and I are in the kitchen when my mom walks in. She freezes and stares at the oven, which says 350. For those who use Celsius, this is the temperature that ovens are set to when turned on.)

Mom: “Who turned that oven on? How long has it been running? I’ve told you not to use it when it’s this hot out!”

Sister: “Uh… Mom…”

Mom: *frantically pressing the off button on the oven* “Why won’t this d*** thing turn off?”

Me: “Mom!”

Mom: “What?”

(I point to the oven display, which now reads 3:51, as in the time. My mom stops trying to turn off the oven, which is, of course, already off and cold.)

Mom: “Well, that was embarrassing. I’m blaming the heat.”

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