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She’s Producing A Lot Of Hot Compressed Air

, , , , | Right | December 9, 2021

I get in my car and my tire pressure light comes on. I have a 12v air compressor in my backseat, but it’s loud and fills sort of slowly, so I opt to drive to the local station where the air pumps are free to use, which usually means there are at least a few cars lined up. When I pull in, there is only one other car. Score! I pull behind the guy filling his tires and an older gentleman in a BMW pulls in behind me.

After about three minutes, a woman in a brand-new Lexus pulls up directly next to me and pulls her window down.

Woman: “I only have to fill one tire. Do you mind if I go in front of you?”

Me: “Actually, I do. We’ve been waiting here for a little bit, sorry.”

She mutters something while rolling her window up and I roll up mine.

About a minute later, the guy at the pump is done. He backs up, and before I can even put my car in gear, Lexus woman pulls her car in front of mine diagonally, blocking me from pulling into the spot, and then pulls straight in after the first guy has moved. She climbs out of her car and gives me the MOST INFURIATING little wave.

At this point, my anger gives way to a ninja-like calm, and I know exactly what must be done. I pull my car forward and stop six inches from her rear bumper. The air pump is in the corner of the lot, so Lexus woman has a curb in front of her, a curb to her right (where the pump is), an open spot to her left, and now my dirty car right behind her brand-new one. She is busy filling her tire and doesn’t notice that I’ve pulled right up to her car.

I step out of my car, grab my air compressor from the back seat and start setting it up to fill my tire. Mr. BMW, who has remained completely still and silent, sees what I’m doing and asks if I can fill his tires, too. I say, “Of course,” and motion for him to park in the empty spot to Lexus lady’s left.

As soon as he pulls in, she notices what’s happening and starts yelling. I flip on my air compressor and begin filling my tire, her cries drowned out by the sound of 250 psi of justice. She comes and stands in front of me, face beet red and little flecks of spittle popping out from between her teeth as she calls me all sorts of names.

Me: *Calmly* “Ma’am, I only have one tire to fill. You don’t mind, do you?”

Mr. BMW is absolutely loving this, and as I finish my tire and move to fill his, she starts up again.

Woman: “You stupid freaking piece of trash.”

I finished Mr. BMW’s tire and he thanked me for my help, climbed in his car, and pulled away, grinning. I wrapped my compressor up nicely, picked a good song, and set my climate control to a balmy 82 degrees, all while Lexus lady was trapped in front of me. I calmly backed up, gave her a little wave, and drove off into the night.